sig facades - lines, said Puss 'n' Boots

Here's some gems and pearls for you. They are the best lines from ebay-u.s. auction signature spaces.
Maybe you can use them. Or not. I'm sure some of the colloquialisms don't travel well.


The Animal and Plant Kingdoms


* Support bacteria. It's the only culture some people have.

* Sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield.

* If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on my dog!

* The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on.

* I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.

* God gave us dogs so we would understand what He meant by love, and gave us cats so we could learn what He meant about serving others.

* Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.

* Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.

* When the chips are down, the buffalo's empty.

* Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!

* I strive to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am

* Every mighty oak was once a nut that stood its ground.


Technology


* hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?

* Error message: Like, dude, something went wrong.

* W¶Åt fûññÿ §ÿmßõ£§ ¿¿¿ --

* I have a photographic memory. Wish I had film.

* If I buy the steel wool will you knit me a Porsche?

* "Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!"


The Joy of Children


* Motherhood: Changing Society One Diaper At A Time

* I love giving homemade gifts...which one of my children would you like?

* Boy: a noise with dirt on it.

* It's not hot flashes. It's my inner child playing with matches.

* Lisa: Let's put it on the internet!

Bart: No. We have to reach people whose opinions actually matter.


Everybody's a (mad) scientist


* You can never have too much infinity.

* There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

* Just what size does a Freudian slip come in anyway?

* A revolving lithic conglomerate accrues no lichen.

* Remember, half the people you know are below average

* "Cogito ergo spud" ~ I think, therefore I yam.

* I reject your reality, and substitute my own.

* Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

* Clairvoyant meeting cancelled due to unforeseen events.

* With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. However, this isn't necessarily a good idea. It's hard to predict where they are going to land, and it could be dangerous sitting underneath them as they sail overhead.

* If you never go off on a tangent, you're doomed to go in circles.

* 98% of all statistics disprove the other 98%.

* Support your local medical examiner: die strangely.

* Aibohphobia: the irrational fear of palindromes.

* Mind...Mind...let's see, I had one of those around here.


Just when you thought you had all the answers…


* What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about?

* If "ignorance is bliss" then why aren't more people happy?


Money makes the world go round


* My gas tank goes from zero to $30 in under a minute.

* A miser is hard to live with but makes a fine ancestor.

* Thanks to the Internet, you can get hopelessly in debt without ever leaving your house.

* I'm too old to be bothered, and too cheap to pay.


The incredibly profound


* I started out with nothing. I have most of it left.

* You can expect all you want, but you may not get it.

* I'm searching for myself. Anyone seen me lately?

* Specializing in totally featureless glass.


All about me


* I don't wake up grouchy; I let him sleep.

* I've been surrounded by canvas my whole life but that doesn't make me a tent.

* I have a speech impediment...my foot!

* I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on

* ...Because I'm older and I've got more insurance, that's why...

* I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.

* Of course I'm on topic... Which newsgroup is this anyway?

* I know karate, kung-fu, and ju jitsu and 3 other dangerous Japanese words

* If you like me, tell your friends. If your friends like me, get new friends

* While you were reading this, I just took control of your mind for 30 seconds.


Epigrams Oscar Wilde would have been envious of


* Let us not be too particular. It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all.

* Opinions are like Bubble Wrap – We all like the sound of POP.

* Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

* One man's ceiling is another man's floor.

* Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

* No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent

* It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

* Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

* An unemployed court jester is nobody's fool.

* If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

* Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you cannot help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs!

* The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

* Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.


Just add a greeting card with a picture of a sunset


* We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* A little kindness goes a long way and never hurt anyone.

* No Day Is Over If It Makes a Memory

* When a thought takes one's breath away, a lesson on grammar seems an impertinence.

* he trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

* believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

* Every item has a story. Memory is the language spoken.


Defies classification


* Ladies Sewing Circle and Terrorist Society

* Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun

* Canadians have a word for sushi. They call it "bait."


Ecclesiastical


* Bless me, Father, for I have committed an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon.